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Developing Social Competence in Gifted and Talented Children
Gifted children pose a unique challenge when it comes to social development. This challenge stems from many of the unique characteristics that gifted children possess. Giftedness is an internal quality that sets children labeled as gifted apart from their same age peers. Because these children are different from their peers they face different issues when growing and developing throughout the childhood years. The following is a definition of giftedness which focuses on the unique characteristics of the gifted child:
"Giftedness is asynchronous development in which advanced cognitive abilities and heightened intensity combine to create inner experiences and awareness that are qualitatively different from the norm. This asynchrony increases with higher intellectual capacity. The uniqueness of the gifted renders them particularly vulnerable and requires modifications in parenting, teaching and counseling in order for them to develop optimally." (The Columbus Group, 1991)
A starting point for providing the support that gifted children need in their unique developmental path is to gain an awareness of the characteristics that often accompany giftedness, and of how those characteristics affect the child's actions and interactions with others. For all children, the period of childhood through adulthood is a time where there is a great struggle to fit in. Children don't want to be recognized as different because those differences often lead to ridicule and lack of acceptance from peers. The following is a list of the unique characteristics that gifted children possess and the difficulties that can accompany them.
| Acquires/retains information quickly | Impatient with others; dislikes basic routine |
| Inquisitive; searches for significance | Asks embarrassing questions; excessive in interests |
| Seeks to organize things and people | Constructs complicated rules; often seen as bossy |
| Large vocabulary base | May use words to manipulate; bored with school and same aged-peers |
| High expectations of self and others | Intolerant, perfectionist; may become depressed |
| Creative/inventive | May be seen as disruptive and out of step |
| Sensitivity, empathy; desire to be accepted by others | Sensitivity to criticism or peer rejection |
| Independent; prefers individualized work | May refuse parent or peer input; nonconformity |
| Strong sense of humor | Peers may misunderstand humor |
Gifted children have a unique way of perceiving things. They make more abstract connections and can make sophisticated conclusions often at an earlier age than same age peers. This unique way of perceiving often creates a different reality for these children than that of their same aged peers. This differing reality can cause difficulties when interacting with children their age. The child may become aware that communication with peers is difficult because they do not share his/her vocabulary, skills, or interests. These differences may lead to higher expectations, jealousy, and resentment by adults and peers. Results of these differences may include:
Difficulty with social relationships
Inappropriate criticism of others
Lack of awareness of impact on others
Depression
High levels of anxiety
Difficulty accepting criticism
Hiding talents to fit in with peers
Isolation from peers
Non acceptance by peers can become a major source of stress in a gifted child's life. A 1994-1995 study conducted with 241 profoundly gifted children found that in tests of self concept, these children were significantly more confident in their academic abilities than in their social acceptance (Rogers, 1997). Options for these students who feel the pressures associated with acceptance by peers may include: conformity (working hard to be "average" or "normal", withdrawal (isolation or alienation), depression (blaming themselves), aggressiveness (blaming others), or continued nonconformity.
Despite these characteristics, gifted children's development does not need to be characterized by unneeded confusion, stressors, isolation, and resentment. There are things that can be done to reduce the difficulties that these children face while growing up. Steps that can be taken include the following:
Developing awareness: The first step toward minimizing painful experiences in the child's life is to gain an awareness of what characteristics accompany giftedness, and the ways that those characteristics affect the child's interaction with those in their environment. If the adults in the gifted child's life understand the unique characteristics of the child, they can help the child to understand their own uniqueness. Together the child and the adults in his/her life can work together toward a positive view of those differences, helping to positively shape the child's self concept.
Developing acceptance: Not only is it important for the child and the adults in his/her life to become aware of the differences, it is also necessary for them to work toward acceptance of those differences. It is suggested in an article by Silverman (2001) that there are three key factors involved in gifted children's social development: development: 1. A responsive home environment in which the child is respected; 2. Opportunities to relate to other gifted children during the early years when self-concept is being formed; 3. Opportunities to relate to the mainstream during adolescence.
A good foundation of self-esteem can be started early in the child's life within his/her family. Full acceptance of the child, including acceptance of their uniqueness, will teach the child to love the qualities that make him/her different. When the child begins school and peer interaction is initiated, it is important that parents continue to provide that support in the home. It is through peer interactions that children often first realize their differences, and they need to be aware that there is a place where they are fully accepted for who they are. It was suggested in the Silverman article that gifted children should have opportunities to interact with other gifted children who may share in their uniqueness and who can provide further support. It was also suggested that this early support will help the child to gain a security from these positive social interactions that can help equip him/her to handle those differences as he/she enters adolescence and adulthood.
Educators reexamine their beliefs and attitudes about gifted children and adolescence in striving to become comfortable in their nonconformity: Staff members should have an opportunity to receive training on how to differentiate instruction for gifted students as well as how to meet their social and emotional needs.
Counselors get training on the intellectual, social, and emotional issues of gifted children and adolescence: Counselors can be available as a support for these students, helping them to develop an appreciation for the similarities and differences between themselves and others, teaching social skills if necessary, and showing them how to solve problems creative and positive ways.
If gifted children are to develop into adults who accept themselves and who can relate to others, certain needs must be addressed including:
The need to understand the ways in which they are different from others and the ways in which they are the same
The need to accept their abilities, talents, and limitations
The need to develop social skills
The need to feel understood and accepted by others
The unique gifts that gifted children possess may lead to differences between them and their same aged peers, however these differences can be viewed positively by the child and accepted and embraced by him/her. Understanding and support from influential persons in the child's life can help to lead them toward acceptance of their unique abilities and talents.

If you are interested in finding out more about how you can support the social and emotional needs of the gifted child see the following resources:
Nurturing Social-Emotional Development of Gifted Children
The National Foundation for Gifted and Creative Children
A
Study of 241 Profoundly Gifted Children*
Talented & Gifted Bibliography
A Glossary of Gifted Education
Giftedness
as Asynchronous Development
Developmental Phases of Social Development
Nurturing Social-Emotional Development of Gifted Children
Mississippi
Association for Gifted Children
Acceleration: An Expanded Vision
Education World: Helping You Make a Difference
Resources for Parents of Gifted Children
How can I support my Gifted Child?