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How Can I Manage My Child's Behavior?
The Use of Behavioral Principles in Parenting
Behavior is a very complex phenomena. We often do not understand why we behave the way we do, and we often find it difficult to modify our own behavior. If our own behavior is so difficult to manage, then how will we manage the behavior of others, such as our children? This is a question that is asked by parents from all walks of life. It is the age old problem of understanding why children behave in the ways that they do, and how we can modify their behavior to fit our expectations as well as the expectations of society.
We want our children to be successful, and part of being successful is behaving in an appropriate manner. Appropriate behavior is necessary for success in all facets of life including the home, school, and work environments. So how can you, as parents, learn to shape your child's actions into acceptable patterns of desired behavior?
The study of behavior has brought about information that we can use to help shape the behavior of others as well as our own. This information has lead to the creation of behavior principles that can be used to understand and to modify behavior.
Common strategies used to modify behavior include:
Positive Reinforcement: Positive reinforcement occurs when a behavior is followed by a positive consequence. This positive consequence reinforces the behavior and results in an increased chance of the behavior occurring again. An example of positive reinforcement would be allowing a child to play his/her favorite video game after finishing their homework.
Negative Reinforcement: Negative reinforcement is said to occur when something unpleasant is removed following a behavior. For example, the behavior of throwing tantrums is reinforced when it is followed by allowing a child to escape a task that they did not want to do, such as cleaning their room, or doing their homework.
Punishment: Punishment is said to occur when a behavior is followed by a negative consequence. The negative consequence reduces the chance of the behavior occurring again. Punishment occurs, for instance, when a child fails to arrive home on time and is grounded.
When children behave in certain ways their behavior is driven by the consequences of the behavior. By changing the consequences of the child's behavior, it is often possible to change the behavior itself.
Punishment is often used in an attempt to change behavior. Punishment has been referred to as a reductive technique since it often results in only temporary suppression of a behavior. These techniques often fail to cause a permanent change in behavior since they only tell the child how not to behave, but provide no information on how they should behave. Since behavior usually fulfills a function for the child, if the child is not taught a replacement behavior, one that will serve the same function in an appropriate way, then the child soon returns to their old ways of behaving.
Positive Reinforcement has been found to be a very effective way to increase desired behaviors in children. With positive reinforcement the child receives recognition for behaving in the appropriate manner or meeting a goal. Here you are telling the child how to behave, rather than telling them how not to behave.
There are several types of positive reinforcers that can be used to encourage positive behavior:
Social Reinforcers: Social reinforcers include things such as verbal praise, smiles, hugs, and other signs of affection.
Material Reinforcers: Material reinforcers include tangible things that the child likes such as stickers, toys, money, and other desired objects.
Preferred Activity: Allowing the child to play video games, watch his/her favorite TV show, play with his/her friends are examples of preferred activities.
Extra Privileges: Allowing the child to take the car for a ride, to stay at a friend's house later than normal, and to go out to their favorite restaurant are examples of extra privileges.
Reinforcers should:
Immediately follow the desired behavior: If reinforcement is to be given after an extended period of time of a child meeting a goal, behaviors that lead to that goal should be reinforced along the way. The strongest effects of reinforcement are gained when reinforcement is given immediately after the behavior has occurred.
Be given only when the desired behavior occurs: Once you have set a behavioral goal for your child, do not reinforce them if they do not reach the goal. This only tells the child that it is not necessary to reach the goal in order to get the reinforcer they desire. If the child is having difficulty reaching the goal, set a goal that is easier to reach and reinforce behavior that meets the description of the new behavioral goal.
Be appropriate for the age and interests of the individual: The whole key to reinforcement is that the reinforcer is something that the child wants. If the reinforcer is not desirable to the child they will not work for it, and it will not serve to strengthen the behavior that you wish to strengthen. Don't be afraid to ask the child what they would like to have as a reinforcer. If you do not feel comfortable in doing this, make a list of reinforcers that you feel comfortable with, and let the child choose from the list.
**The key is to catch the child being good and to immediately reinforce their behavior with something that they desire.
Reinforcement can play a key role in a behavior modification plan for a child. There are certain steps that should be carried out when setting up a behavior modification plan:
1. Chart the Behavior: Charting the behavior is simply observing it and recording it. Through doing this you can find out:
How often the behavior is occurring
The settings and situations in which the behavior occurs
What usually occurs before the child engages in the behavior, and what occurs after
All of this information can give you insight into how much of a problem the behavior is and what may be causing the behavior to occur.
2. Determine what positive reinforcements will be used to produce and increase the desired behavior. Remember, select reinforcements that are pleasing to the child.
3. Set a goal that the child will need to reach in order to receive the reinforcement. Reinforcement may be given every time the behavior is displayed, once a day, or even once a week. There should be, at the very least, an opportunity for the child to receive a daily reward, and possibly a weekly reward for their desired behavior. The daily rewards can be minimal, but the weekly reward should be of more value to the child. Any reinforcement given to the child should always be paired with social praise. Once the child begins to reach the goal on a regular basis, you will want to up the goal so that the child has to display more of the desired behavior to receive the same reinforcement.
4. Fade the reinforcement: After the child has learned how to do the behavior and has reached their goal for a sufficient period of time, begin to fade out tangible reinforcement for the behavior. This is best done when tangible reinforcements, such as material reinforcements, are paired throughout the reinforcement process with social reinforcement. As you begin to slowly remove the tangible reinforcement, continue to provide the social reinforcement.
An example of fading: In order to increase his completion of homework, Tommy was rewarded daily with one hour of video game playing time after the completion of his assignments. At the end of the week, if Tommy completed all of his homework for the entire week, he could have his friends over to see a movie and eat pizza. Homework completion was also paired with verbal praise, such as good job Tommy, you are really doing great with your homework assignments and we're proud of you. After five weeks of reinforcement Tommy was completing his homework at the set goal of 95% success rate. Nightly tangible reinforcement was cut down to two nights a week, and homework completion continued to be followed by verbal praise every night. Eventually, tangible reinforcement during the week was removed, and only verbal reinforcement remained. Finally, end of the week reinforcement was removed, leaving only verbal praise. Verbal reinforcement had become enough to engage Tommy in homework completion.
Remember: Behavior change is often a slow process, but don't get discouraged. Plans may be continually modified throughout the process of behavior change. This may be necessary in order to find the fit that works for you and your child. Consequence of behavior is a powerful motivator, and when used with an understanding of behavioral principles, it can be a successful change agent in the behavior of children.